Back to Black
by Mays89
Summary: "But you don't love her, you love me Draco, you told me you loved me." She lost it, she turned around and tried to get a hold of the situation. "Love you? Granger, I don't even know what love is." EXTRA SECOND CHAPTER ADDED.
1. Chapter 1

**Back to Black**

**Disclaimer:** Characters, Names, Surroundings etc. belong to J.K. Rowling. The plot is based on the song 'Back to Black' by Amy Winehouse.

**A/N**: This is my first Draco/Hermione story. I hope you like it. Please be gentle with me on my language as I'm Dutch and English is not my native language. If someone wants to help me out with this, please send me a private message. Thanks! Enjoy.

**Summary:** One shot – inspired by Amy Winhouse's song: Back to Black

**Pairing:** Draco/Hermione

**Rated:** M for language

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1.1<strong>

_-. You went back to what you knew  
>So far removed from all that we went through<br>And I tread a troubled track  
>My odds are stacked<br>I'll go back to black .- _

* * *

><p>His words from last night were still echoing in her mind, in her heart. Every single word that came from his mouth stabbed her in the heart. His eyes looking cruel, his well known smirk plastered on his face as he spoke to her, calm but with a certain rage, no regrets, no love, just hate.<p>

Had she been imagining it all then? Had she not really known him at all for the past months? She thought she did, she thought she knew everything about him. They had become so close, had been together every day and almost every night.

Hermione didn't know what had happened, couldn't wrap her head around it. She didn't want to think about it anymore. Life as she knew it for the past couple of months was gone, maybe had never really existed at all.

She didn't sleep at all that night, the whole situation washing over her time and time again and she felt her heart break every time. She sniffed a couple of times, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and got out of bed.

Hermione walked up to the bathroom mirror and watched herself in the mirror. Her eyes had been red and puffy from crying, she looked pale and her hair was a mess. Splashing some water in her eyes and on her face, she hoped that it would do the trick and make her seem as if everything was ok. As if her heart had not been broken just the night before. Nobody had known what kind of effect it had on her. What kind of an effect _he_ had on her. Her friends couldn't know but most of all _he_ couldn't know that she had cared that much for him.

When she was fully dressed she stepped out of her room and walked up to the great hall. Stopping at the huge doors she took a couple of deep breaths, shook her shoulders loose and walked in. She kept her head up high and tried not to look at his table, as she quickly walked to her spot and made sure that her back was facing him. She didn't want to see his _beautiful_ face, his silver blond hair and his piercing grey, stormy eyes. She couldn't stand the fact that he was probably laughing behind her back, talking to his friends about her. She closed her eyes, inhaled deep and tried to focus on something else. Homework, Crookshanks, her parents, Harry and Ron… anything. It didn't work, he was everywhere. He clouded her mind, her heart and her being.

She wasn't even hungry, but she told herself that if she didn't show up, didn't eat, then he would know that he broke her. Taking her fork and knife she cut through her breakfast and tried to eat as fast as she could. After 5 minutes she saw Ron and Harry approaching her table, ready for their own breakfast. She knew that she had to leave to avoid conversation. If she stayed, they would know something was wrong by just looking at her and she couldn't handle that on top of everything else. Apart from that… she had some huge explaining to do if she had ever to tell them what had been going on for the past couple of months. Right under their noses. Nobody had known, except for _him_It had been their secret, and she loved the fact that he was the one she could share it with.

As she got up to leave the great hall, her eyes – out of habit – gazed over in his direction and when she saw him sitting there with his friends and new girlfriend she knew that she would never get over him. She was and would always be completely and entirely in love with Draco Malfoy.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1.2<strong>

_-. He left no time to regret  
>Kept his dick wet<br>With his same old safe bet  
>Me and my head high<br>And my tears dry  
>Get on without my guy.- <em>

* * *

><p>…<strong>The night before…<strong>

He had written her a short note to get her to meet him as soon as possible in the room of requirements. He had to get this over with. He had to do this now for he knew he might not be able to go through with it if he would see her, hold her, kiss her, smell her. He had to rip the bandage off, quick and painless. Or as painless as this could ever be done. He hoped it would be over soon, he wasn't sure if he could handle her eyes, staring at him when he would have to tell her lies.

He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply then opened them again. He felt so angry, confused and sad, all at the same time. His hand still hurt from a couple of minutes ago when his rage left him stomping the wall with his knuckles. Bruises had formed and he knew that it was going to hurt like mad tomorrow… but not as much as what he was about to do in just a couple of minutes.

He walked up to the room of requirements, passed the wall 3 times and the door appeared. As he stepped in the room he noticed that the room was different from the previous months that he had been in that same room with _her_. There always used to be a fire crackling, candles lit and in the middle of the room would be a comfortable couch and a huge bed.

Now it felt empty and dark, so suitable for what he was about to do. He felt a pang in his heart when he reminded himself that he was not going to see the old room ever again.. it was the part that he had to cut from his live. A part that he once thought and hoped would last forever.

He walked to the middle of the room, trying to remember their nights and moments together as he sighed and felt on his knees to the ground. He had promised himself he wouldn't cry. He had to be strong for her, for himself. He had to make it look like it was the real deal, he had to make it look like he was the old Draco again. She just had to believe him. He slowly stood up, balled his hands into a fist and tried to collect himself. He could do this… he _had_ to do this.

He didn't have to wait long for her, soon the door opened and he heard small footsteps nearing him. He took a deep breath and waited for her to announce that she was in the room. He was just standing there with his back to her, trying to collect his thoughts, his words. But as he felt two soft arms hugging him from behind he had lost his train of thought and just went with the moment. He leaned into her touch, if only for just a couple more seconds to remember the moment, the feeling.

He made himself turn around, his cold smirk plastered on his face. He took her arms from around his waist and let them fall to her side. "Granger" He nodded.

Hermione look at him and thought he had made a mistake by calling her by her last name. A formality that changed 2 months ago. He had called her Hermione ever since.

She smiled, her beautiful eyes had lit up at the sight of his face as she completely forgot about the fact that he had just called her by her last name. "Hi." She replied softly and smiled once more.

He had to go through with it, for him, for her for both of their lives. It would be for the best. He had this whole plan figured out right before he went into that door. But now it was all gone at the sight of her face. He wanted to touch her, kiss her, hold her. But he knew he couldn't. He looked at her once more turned around and just laughed. Hard.

Hermione's smile faltered. "What's so funny?" She asked, unsure what was going on.

Draco quickly turned around, his cruel smirk on his face and just laughed even louder.

"Draco, come on, what's going on?" Hermione started to get scared as she remembered and recognized the old smirk of Draco Malfoy. That same smirk that she hadn't seen for more than 2 months.

"Come on Draco, what's so funny?"She asked again, impatient and automatically she took a couple of steps back to the door.

"You." He simply said and walked up to her and grabbed her arms roughly. "You are what is so funny."

Hermione shook her head. "What do you mean? Draco, you're scaring me." She tried to shake him off of her but his hold on her was too strong. She stood face to face with him now. She didn't recognize him anymore. His eyes were cold and his face was pale, straight, without emotion. He just looked at her for a couple of more seconds.

"We've had a good time together right Granger?" He more said then asked her. He let go of her arms and turned his back on her. Hermione just stood there, frozen.

"Yes, I would like to think that we had a good time." He continued. "But I think I'm kind of done right now with you." He still hadn't turned around, too afraid to face her when he would say the next words.

"You were a nice lay, a nice fuck, but I guess… I'm just done with it, with you." He turned around, finally facing Hermione who just stood there. Her eyes were big as though not believing what he was saying, that he was just joking.

"I…I just.." She started but couldn't find the words, silent tear streamed down her face.

"What Granger? Cat caught your tongue? You never had that problem before." He laughed again and walked up to her. Staring her straight in the face.

"Wh… what are you saying here? Are we done?" Her breath hitched as she tried to look him straight in the eye. She couldn't wrap her head around the situation, she could hardly believe that it was happening.

"Are we done?" He laughed shortly. "Granger, we cannot be done if we have never started." He just stood there, his voice was calm and his eyes were still showing no emotion.

"Never…" She paused, tried to look for something in his eyes, for some hope. "Never started? Draco, I love you."

"Yeah, that's great and all, but you need to get over yourself Granger. We had our fun but I need to move on with my life. I have a girlfriend Granger, how do you think she feels if you stay my fuck buddy."

"A girlfriend? But… who?" She shook her head, still not believing.

He turned around, knowing that he was breaking her. It was his plan, it was working. But it was breaking him too.

"Do you even have to ask Granger? You must know that it has always been Pansy."

"But you don't love her, you love me Draco, you told me you loved me." She lost it, she turned around and tried to get a hold of the situation. She walked to the door and then back to the middle of the room where Draco was standing. She heard him laugh again but couldn't see his face as he was standing with his back to her.

"Love you? Granger, I don't even know what love is." He said harshly.

"But.."She started

He turned around and simply looked at her and replied calmly. "But what Granger? You actually believed it when I told you I loved you. Gimme a break Granger… how long have you known me now? 7 years? I was just saying it to get you into my bed."

He saw her break right in front of him. He wanted to get out of there. Just let her be and get on with his sorry life. He started walking for the door but stopped when he heard her speak.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me." She was watching him hopefully.

And he did. He looked at her harshly, grabbed her arm and pulled her as close to his face as possible. She gazed into his eyes as he looked back at her, his eyes raging with fire.

"I don't love you, you bitch. Never did. You were just an easy fuck. "

"And if you must know.. Pansy and I are getting married in 2 months. I would have invited you, but Mudbloods are not allowed to filth up my wedding day." Her eyes closed as he still held her arm harshly. The same arms that were always so gentle, yet strong and which had held her for numerous of nights. His arms. The arms she had loved.

When she opened up her eyes he was still looking in her eyes. The Draco she knew, or thought she had known, was gone. The realization had struck her. Hard. He had never loved her.

"I can't believe you fell for it Granger.. after all.. you must know that Purebloods don't usually _fuck_ Mudbloods." He spat at her.

"How could you? After all that we've done, after all that we've said to each other. How could you?" She shook her head, her shoulders were shaking and her lower lip was trembling.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know I cared about Mudbloods." He made sure his famous smirk was plastered on his face as he watched her fall to her knees and cry on the ground.

Hermione looked up to him, tears streaming down her face. He was towering over her, smirking, mocking her, almost laughing.

He stepped over her form and wanted to get out of there, he couldn't cope with this situation any longer. He wanted to hold her, kiss her and tell her that it was all a lie... but he couldn't. He had to get away from her.

"I loved you Draco." He heard her whisper. He closed his eyes, clenched his fist and turned around once more. He had to give her one final remark to shatter her completely. It was for the best.

"I know you did. That was the best part." He laughed hard and walked out of the door. Leaving Hermione completely shattered on the ground.

* * *

><p><em>We only said goodbye with words<em>  
><em>I died a hundred times<em>  
><em>You go back to her<em>  
><em>And I go back to...<em>

_I go back to us_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1.3<strong>

**5 years later**

"It's been a long time." He had looked at her, and was amazed by the woman she had become. He had not seen her anymore since the day of their graduation. The week before he would get married to Pansy and he knew that his life was soon to be ended. He could clearly remember the day of graduation as it had been the day that he had silently said goodbye to her. He had seen her in the hall together with her parents. Her parents had looked at her, beaming with pride. Of course. He understood. He too was proud of her. Best student of their year, valedictorian, held an amazing speech and looked radiant and beautiful. His girl.  
>Now she was here, standing in front of him after 5 years without her, she looked almost the same, had become more of a woman perhaps. But still the same. His girl.<p>

"It has been."Hermione sighed and looked at the man she had once loved deeply in the eye. He had changed, he had grown into a handsome young man. He had cut his hair short, and she had to admit that it looked better than it had ever done before. He still held those amazing stormy, grey, piercing eyes. He had changed into a man.

They had bumped into each other in Diagon Alley and could not deny each other's presence. Draco had started talking and soon Hermione replied, though the air around them was suffocating, uncomfortable as they both looked away from each other. Not able to look each other in the eye, too much history, too much embarrassment, too many lies.

"You haven't changed much." Draco said.

"You haven't changed much either Malfoy. " She sighed once again. She didn't want to have this conversation at all. "I have to go Malfoy, it was good to uh… see you." Lost for other words she just nodded and turned around.

"Was it?" She heard him say softly. She stopped in her tracks, though not turning around to face him.

"Was it what?" She asked him.

"Good to see me..?" He took a deep breath and waited for her to answer. He shoved both of his hands in the pockets of his jeans, trying to give himself some posture.

She turned around, staring him straight in the eye with her big brown eyes. She hesitated.

"I…don't know." She said honestly. He nodded in understanding. He gave her a small smile and walked past her. The conversation had ended.

She knew she was going to regret their conversation. Too short, too formal.. too… She closed her eyes and shook her head.

After two minutes she found the strength to carry on her way, though he was still in her head, still not completely letting the conversation go. She had always known what she had wanted to say to him if she would ever run into him somewhere. The conversation they had just 3 minutes ago was not the way she had wanted it to go. She had so much to say to him, still mad, still in love, still in pain. 5 years had passed and she still wasn't over him. She had to stop kidding herself she was over it. It had been a lie.

She quickly turned around, making a decision in her mind quickly and ran in the direction she had seen Draco take. Her mind was clouded, she didn't know what she was doing and kind of hoped that she wouldn't find him for she didn't know if she could take more heartache.

Then she saw him, standing in the middle of the road, looking straight at her as if he had been waiting for her.

"Hermione." He had whispered to her when she had approached him and was standing in front of him once again. He had used her first name, not her last. Her heart took a leap.

"We never said goodbye."She had shot at him, her eyes piercing into his, not breaking eye contact.

He noticed he had been holding his breath, he just looked back at her, not knowing what to say to her, if there was anything right to say to her or not.

"You don't have anything to say?" She shot again.

"I.."He shook his head, at loss for words. Though he had so much to say to her… he knew he couldn't.

"Let me talk then." She stood firm, knowing this was the time she had been waiting for, for 5 years. It was now or never.

"I hate you… hell, I don't think I have ever hated anyone more in my life. I thought we had something amazing, beautiful, worthwhile, something for eternity. " She stopped, trying to search his eyes for any emotion or feelings. Nothing.

She continued. "You broke me the night you told me that it was all just an easy fuck Malfoy. The night you told me you had never loved me. It had all been a game. It's 5 years later and I still can't believe that someone can be so cruel to another human being." She paused for a second to catch her breath. Then continued.

"And yes, it has been 5 years, but I am still thinking about you. Every day you cloud my mind… Wondering where you are, how you are doing. If you're happy and in love. The months we did spend together had been special to _me._Our secret looks in the hallways, making sure nobody would see. Out notes that were being passed in class, our late night talks. Making…" She sighed as she remembered. "Making love. _You_were special to me. I thought I had found the one. But then you crushed me completely, saying those harsh words, being the jerk I thought I would never see again. For months I kept believing that somehow you told me lies, that you did love me. How else could it have been possible to share those looks with you, for you to be so passionate, gentle and kind to me. But after awhile, hearing that you got married… that Pansy was pregnant, I knew that you didn't lie. And I know you never cared..but you should know that I am not sure if I'm ever going to let you go completely. "

She stopped talking, but she wasn't done yet. But just standing there with him, in the middle of the street with people passing them… it was too much. She looked up at him, seeing his beautiful face. He was still beautiful. The words that followed were never meant to be said, but she felt them.

"You shouldn't have made me fall in love with you… I've been that broken girl ever since the night you told me it was just for fun for you. My feelings for you never changed." She whispered, finally breaking eye contact and looking to the ground. She knew that Draco would probably laugh at her face, knowing he was still hurting her to this very day. But she just had to tell him, or she would forever regret it.

It was silent for awhile. Both over thinking her words. Both waiting if the other was going to say something.  
>Draco sighed, mad at himself, at her for making it so difficult for him. For her. He knew that if he didn't tell her the truth now he would regret it forever. She had to know why he did it.<p>

He lifted her chin, wanting to look her in the eye when he would say his next words. She was once again staring straight back at him. Her eyes now filled with silent tears. His heart broke.

"There are a couple of things I haven't told you Hermione, It is just impossible for me to tell you. Lies, secrets.. a world that I am hiding from you, for you. I have told you lies...I had to break you or I would not be able to let you go. And you _had_ to let me go."

Hermione just stared at him. She wanted to know more but she wasn't sure if she wanted to know. But she made up her mind.

"Tell me." She whispered, encouraging him when she pointed to a bench. They both took a seat next to each other, facing each other, not breaking eye contact. Draco was silent for a while. Didn't know where to start.

"The night I broke it off between us I had received a letter from my parents, they had found out about our relationship.. they threatened to kill you Hermione, if I didn't break it off with you."

"So you just did? You could have told me! We could've discussed this, go to professor Dumbledore, come up with a solution." Hermione started to get angry.

"They told me that I was going to be married to Pansy and that I had no choice. You don't know my parents Hermione. They were for real, no one could have stopped them from killing you. If we were to go to Dumbledore, they would have killed you that same night. I was so scared. I had no choice. And I loved you so, so much, I knew that if you would have died I could never live with myself. So I made a decision.. a decision to keep you safe."

Hermione nodded, tears filled her eyes. She took his hand in hers and savored his soft, warm hands in hers. She missed it. Soon his last words hit her right in the heart. Love her? He hadn't loved her now did he?

Before she was going to ask him, he already cut her off.

"Yes I loved you. Still do. And you have to know that I hate myself for hurting you the way I did, and still do." He looked her straight in the eyes, seeing his words effecting her. She was thinking it through the way only Hermione could let information sink in.

"I hope that you're going to get over me Hermione. You are so much better than me, deserve so much better than me. And I've always known that. Know that I wish you all the best in your life. I hope you know that I am always going to have to suffer for my way of breaking up with you. But I hope you understand that I had no choice."

She nodded. Understanding now. "And now?"She asked hopefully, searching his eyes, squeezing his hand.

"I hope that one day you're going to forgive me for it. I hope that one day you are able to forget about me. For I am not worthy of being remembered by you."

She was crying now, in the middle of the street. He held her hand, wiped her tears from her eyes and smiled softly. He was telling her that they had no future together. Somewhere in the back of her mind she had known. He was married to Pansy, they had a little boy and girl. She knew.. she had read it in the newspaper years ago.

He squeezed her hand one last time before letting her go.

"I have to go back to my family now Hermione."He gave her one final nod and turned away from her, knowing he was turning his back on the only woman he had ever loved.

"Goodbye… Draco." He had heard Hermione's soft, crying voice say. He stood still for a few more seconds, knowing that he probably was never going to see her again. This was their final goodbye, the ending of their love.. the perfect love they had once shared, though very short, filled with passion and desire.

He then walked out of her life.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>_We only said goodbye with words_  
><em>I died a hundred times<em>


	2. Don't you remember

**Don't you remember?**

**Disclaimer:** Characters, Names, Surroundings etc. belong to J.K. Rowling. The plot is inspired by the song 'Don't you remember' by Adele.

**A/N**: My second story! Still looking for a beta, send me a private message if you wanna help me out! So sorry for any mistakes in spelling or grammar.

I decided to add this story as a 2nd chapter to **Back to Black** as it is a sequel to that story. I'm not sure if I'm going to write another chapter/story for this one. So you might see this as an ending. Hope you enjoy!

**Summary:** inspired by Adele's song: Don't you remember. **  
><strong>

'_She got married?' _he thought and looked at the joined picture in the newspaper. He saw Hermione standing next to Weasley and saw how happy and beautiful she looked.

**Pairing:** Draco/Hermione

**Rated:** M for language

**Previously in Back to Black  
><strong>

"Goodbye… Draco." He had heard Hermione's soft, crying voice say. He stood still for a few more seconds, knowing that he probably was never going to see her again. This was their final goodbye, the ending of their love.. the perfect love they had once shared, though very short, filled with passion and desire.

He then walked out of her life.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2.1<strong>

_When will I see you again?  
>You left with no goodbye,<br>Not a single word was said  
>No final kiss to seal anything<br>I had no idea of the state we were in_

* * *

><p><strong>3 years later.<strong>

Sometimes fantasy gets Draco Malfoy so caught up that he forgets about his own reality. Here he is, sitting at the breakfast table, surrounded by his wife and his 2 children. For any other person his life would look pretty wonderful. He's got a great job, money, a family, a big house, nothing seemed wrong. Except for this morning's newspaper that is.

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione Granger<br>And  
>Ronald "Ron" Bilius Weasley<strong>

Have the joy of announcing their marriage which took place on June 21st 2011.  
>Please join us for an Open House of The Burrow on July 17th from 8-11 p.m.<p>

* * *

><p>Right in the middle of taking a bite of his morning bagel he came across this little piece of information and immediately lost his appetite.<p>

'_She got married?' _he thought and looked at the joined picture in the newspaper. He saw Hermione standing next to Weasley and saw how happy and beautiful she looked. Oh so beautiful. Dressed in an all white dress with red roses in her curly hair, she looked so pure, like an angel.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that he should be happy for her. She finally got what she deserved, the wedding, a husband, a family. Isn't this what he had wanted for her when he broke it off with her? For her to have a normal life, to be happy and to continue? Why then did he feel so angry, heartbroken and.. jealous?

He stood up abruptly and stormed out of the room, hearing Pansy's loud voice asking what was going on and where he was going. He didn't care, not about her, not where he was going. He was stuck in a marriage that he didn't want, a woman that he didn't love and a family that he wanted with someone else. The only good thing about it were his children that he loved to death. His son Damien and daughter Blair were the only two persons that would keep him going every single day of his life.

He looked at the picture once more and smiled as he watched her smiling next to her husband.

'_She got married'_ He thought once more and shook his head. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. A habit that irritated not only him but also Pansy whenever they would have another fight. It was a habit out of awkwardness, not knowing what to say or do and frustration. He mostly hated it because he used to be unreadable. This new habit of his gave so much away with just one move. He had began to soften up and he didn't like it one bit.

His thumb ran over her face and he got stuck sitting there, watching her for hours. Fantasizing that it was him and not Weasley that got to hold her, kiss her and love her. It was a life that he once thought he would have, with her. A life that started and ended in his 7th year when he had loved her, hurt her and broke her. In all but 2 months he had imagined his whole life together with her, a big family and a house somewhere in the middle of nowhere where they could be together. Happy.

But that fantasy ended abruptly and he was stuck in reality with his wife Pansy, married for over 8 years now. With no way out.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2.2<strong>

_When was the last time you thought of me?_  
><em>Or have you completely erased me from your memories?<em>  
><em>Cause I often think about where I happen to roam<em>  
><em>The more I do, the less I know<em>

* * *

><p><strong>2 weeks later<strong>

Hermione was busy arranging everything for their open house that was coming up the 17th. Just a couple of days left and her whole house would be filled with people she may or may not know. I guess she had to get used to that fact, being married to Ronald Weasley, the guy with the biggest family tree around. She smiled as she thought of Ron. Her friend, her husband. She was happily married just a couple of weeks ago and her life seemed to be on track.

The last years had been tough on her, heartache and sadness sweeping over her every other day or so. But life seemed to have turned around the moment Ron had asked her out on their first official date. She had hesitated at first, thinking she couldn't fall for another guy, let alone one of her best friends. And she didn't want to jeopardize their friendship. But on their first date she had come to known what a great guy Ron really was and she started to fall for him. Just 1,5 years later they had gotten married. And now here she is, ordering flower arrangements for their open house.

Though the years had come and gone, not a single day in her life had she forgotten about Draco Malfoy. The boy she had loved and lost. And although she loved Ron now, she would never forget about Draco. She knew he loved her and that was something that had kept her going over the years. She knew she had to move on after awhile but it had taken her a long time and her friends had been worried about her. To this very day they still didn't know her history with Draco Malfoy. The love of her life.

She wondered if he knew she had gotten married. Her engagement to Ron had been announced in the newspapers and the announcement of their open house as well. What would he be thinking of it and.. would he still care. She had often wondered what she would say to him if she would ever run into him again. She didn't know. She knew it was going to be hard though.

She hadn't heard much about Draco Malfoy in the last couple of years, he lived a quiet life and that was good. She knew he was doing some good business and that he was still married to Pansy Parkinson. She just hope that life had treated him good and that he loved Pansy, no matter his feelings for Hermione. He deserved happiness and love.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2.3<strong>

_I gave you the space_  
><em>so you could breathe<em>  
><em>I kept my distance<em>  
><em>so you would be free<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Open House <strong>

Her house was slowly beginning to fill with people, going from person to person and playing the part of the perfect host, perfectly. She loved doing this, having everyone together, happy and content. The smile that was set on her face couldn't get off as she kissed Ron's cheek and walked to the kitchen to get herself a drink.

She watched everybody for awhile from a distance, standing by the backdoor of the room. She sighed happily at the family and friends that were there to greet the two of them and congratulate them with their marriage and their house. She loved being loved and knew that the dark days from the past were over. She knew they were over, but for some reason she would never be able to part with them or forget them.

Turning around to walk back to the kitchen to pour herself another drink she stared straight into a set of piercing grey eyes. So familiar but yet warm.

In front of her stood Draco Malfoy with small smile on his face. He was just watching her, leaning on the door frame. She had no idea how long he had been standing there and the reason why he was here.

But she didn't care. It felt so good to see him again, it had been a couple of years and he had aged slightly, though he still looked as handsome as ever. She couldn't stop the big grin that grew on her face as she noticed that he took a step forward and kissed her forehead soundly.

"Congratulations." She heard him say in his deep velvet voice. She couldn't take her eyes off of him.

"Thank you very much." She said softly and averted her eyes, maybe ashamed to admit that she had moved on after all those years.

He took her hand and softly pulled her to the backdoor. "Do you have a minute for me?" He asked

She smiled and nodded and followed him out of the backdoor into the dark, cold night. She was afraid to say anything to him so she just sat down on a bench outside of the Burrow and looked up into the sky where the stars were shown so brightly due to a clear sky. She felt him sit next to her and she turned around to face him, wondering why he was here at her house.

"To be honest Hermione, I don't really know why I'm here…" He started and looked at his hands that were fidgeting in his lap. She too stared at his hands to give her something to do. "I guess I just..I had to see you." He looked up and searched for her eyes to look back at him. "I mean, it's good to see you. You look good." He smiled at her and looked her over.

"You too." She could barely make any sound and was glad that she could form just those two words. She felt uncomfortable but yet didn't want to leave him.

"I saw your open house invitation in the newspaper a couple of weeks back."He started. "I had no idea you'd gotten married to Weasley." He looked at her wedding ring on her finger. A simple yet elegant ring that fit her. He had never liked Weasley as a person but he knew that he would be good for Hermione, that he would love her the way she was suppose to be loved.

It was silent for awhile, both not knowing what to say. "You look happy. "He stated. "Are you happy?" Draco almost whispered to her.

She looked up at him as her eyes began to water. She didn't want to hurt his feelings by being honest. But she knew she had to be honest to him, she could never lie. "I am." A small smile formed on her lips and she quickly looked down, she didn't want to see the sadness in his eyes.

He tilted her chin with his fingers and made her look at him. "Good." He smiled a sad smile. "I'm happy that you're happy. You deserve it." He kissed her cheek quickly and stood up.

"I guess, I just wanted to know you're doing good." He backed away a little and one of his hands went through his hair. Hermione smiled and thought he looked adorable doing it. "Have a good life Hermione Weasley." He laughed a little at the sound of her new last name. "Still strange." He explained, turned around and walked away, leaving Hermione alone in the dark on the bench.

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><p><strong>Chapter 2.4<strong>

_Why don't you remember?_  
><em>Don't you remember<em>  
><em>The reason you loved me before,<em>  
><em>Baby please remember<em>  
><em>You used to love me<em>

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><p><strong>2 days later<strong>

His kiss had lingered on her cheek for far too long, even now, 2 days after seeing him, her cheek was still glowing from his kiss. She had never expected that seeing him again would affect her this much, not being able to eat, sleep or think normally. She felt like that same teenage girl that fell in love with Draco Malfoy all over again.

She wanted to see him again, talk to him again, hold his hands again. Just for a small time. Would it be so wrong of her to go over his house, ring his doorbell and talk to him? He did the same thing with her.

So there she was, standing in front of the large entrance of his house, debating whether or not she should ring the bell or not. So she just stood there, biting her lip. What if Pansy would open the door, or one of his children? What was she going to say? 'Yes Hi, I'm Hermione Weasley and I would like to see Draco Malfoy the man that I'm still in love with.' Yeah right. She sighed and shook her head. '_What am I doing' _She thought and spun on her heel to get back home. This wasn't going to work.

"Going somewhere?"

She spun around and was greeted yet again by his piercing grey, warm eyes. By accident she bit her lip too hard and tasted a couple drops of blood. She cursed under her breath. She saw him laughing as a twinkling in his eye appeared and opened his door for her. "Come in."

She hesitated for a second but quickly decided that she would stay for just a couple of minutes and then leave again. She walked past him into his house and waited for him to follow her in.

She started to take off her coat and Draco took it from her, hanging it on the coat hanger.

He led her into the sitting room where she could see that he had been working, as a small light was turned on next to the couch and she saw numerous of papers and pens sprawled out on the coffee table. On one of the papers a pair of glasses were lying and she smiled to herself.

"You wear glasses?" She asked him, and turned around to face him.

"Yes." He said, and once again one of his hands went through his hair. "But only when I'm working."

She nodded and understood. "I guess you've grown older huh?"

"I think we both have." He nodded to her hand where her wedding ring was. She looked at it and quickly put the hand behind her back.

"How did you know I was standing in front of the door?" Trying to change the topic. But also curious, she hadn't rung the door bell.

"One of my house elves warned me that there was a woman standing in front of the door looking torn." He had an amusing smile on his face as he tried to picture Hermione standing in front of his door.

"Ah." Was the only thing Hermione said. She sat down on one of the chairs and tried to act calm and collective.

While Draco just stood there, watching her every move. "Can I get you something? A drink, some food?" He wasn't sure why she was here and if he was supposed to say something. He was just waiting for her to start talking.

"No." Her answers were short and simple, not knowing what else to say.

Finally Draco nodded and sat down on one of the chairs as well. He just looked at her while she looked everywhere but at him. He cleared his throat, trying to get her to start talking but nothing happened.

"You're going to have to start saying something Hermione, I don't know what to say or do anymore. We've gone through all of the formalities." He said desperate and his hand once again went through his hair. She smiled.

"What?"He asked

She just shook her head. "Do you know that you go through your hair a lot whenever you're uncomfortable?" She watched him as he realized that she had noticed as he looked away from her ashamed.

"Yes I know. I'm sorry, it's this annoying habit that I picked up."

"No… I like it. It's cute. It makes me see you more clearly." She said shyly. She looked away again and stood up just to have something to do. He stared at her, wondering why she picked up on so much about him.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here right?" She asked him as she stared out of the window. As she looked outside she saw the swing set that his children probably used and she felt a pang in her heart. He had a family. A family that she had wanted with him. 2 children, a beautiful wife. It hurt. Tears formed into her eyes as she tried to hold them back.

She couldn't let him see that she was crying, that she was hurt. She had told him she was happy. And she was.

"Yes, kind of. Though I don't care that much. It's good to see you again Hermione." He stared at her back. She was quiet for awhile and he noticed that her body had stiffened, he walked over to her. Standing next to her he saw the tears streaming down her face. He put one of his hands on her shoulder as though to comfort her. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do.

With Pansy everything had always been so easy, she knew how he felt about him. Or actually how he didn't feel for her. He had never seen her cry, simple because she didn't let him in. He felt awkward standing there with a crying Hermione.

"It hurts." She said quietly, closing her eyes to shut out her world. He pulled her against his shoulder and she cried out loud. "It hurts so much." She sobbed into his shoulder.

"I know Hermione. Believe me… I know." The two former lovers both knew what the other person was saying, they understood without so much as 2 words. Both had felt the same pain and were left with nothing but heartache. After awhile Hermione collected herself together again and let go of Draco. Her eyes were still red from the crying.

Draco went into the kitchen and got her a glass of water, when he came back to the living room Hermione was once again sitting in the chair. "I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to do that.. to make it harder." She apologized.

"To make what harder?" He asked her.

"The other day when you asked me if I was happy, I had no other option but to tell you the truth. Yes, I'm happy. But the minute you walk into my life I get shaken up. Don't know what to think anymore and I just want to see you again." She paused, sighed, looked up at him and continued. "I need you to know that although I am happy… I still remember everything that happened between us." Her eyes locked with his and she could see that he understood. That he too felt the same.

Suddenly the door of the living room opened and Pansy walked into the room. First not acknowledging the pair as she went her way through the living room to the kitchen. Draco cleared his throat and Pansy turned around. She immediately saw Hermione in the living room and a surprised shock came on her face.

"Granger?" She asked, not sure what Hermione was doing there in her living room. Always thought that Draco despised that same girl that was now sitting in one of her chairs in her living room.

Hermione cleared her throat, trying to give herself some posture and gave a small smile. "Hello Pansy, how are you?"She politely asked, not sure what else to say.

"I'm good thanks. Hope you are too?" Pansy tried to be nice to the woman who was sitting in front of her. They had never been friends, but she also never disliked the girl the way Draco had. Hermione just nodded in return and looked at Draco. Pansy too turned to Draco. "Draco, can I talk to you for a minute?"Pansy asked.

"Excuse me. I'll be right back." Draco told Hermione with a smile and followed Pansy to the kitchen. It took a few seconds for Pansy to gather her thoughts. She still didn't understand what Hermione Granger was doing at her house, and why Draco seemed to be so nice to her.

Before she could ask Draco, he already started to give her the answer. "I know what you are thinking. What is Hermione Granger doing in here right?" He asked her. She just nodded. Draco turned around with his back facing Pansy. He wasn't sure where to start and whether or not he should tell her the truth. She kind of deserved the truth seeing that she was his wife. He just wasn't sure how she would react about the information.

"Come on Draco. What's going on? Should I be worried or something?" She asked impatiently, with a sound of worry as well.

"No. No, not worried. At least.. I don't think so. There is just so much to explain and I want to explain it to you. But for now I just need to tell you the shorter version and I'll explain everything to you later." He waited for her to reply but all Pansy did was nod as she wanted him to continue.

"There is something that you don't know about me… and about Hermione." Pansy raised her brows at the sound of Hermione's first name. Having never heard Draco say it before, it had always been just Granger. "In our 7th year, Hermione and I, we….we uh, we we're in love." He paused for a second, trying to see how Pansy was reacting but she didn't let anything on. "We were in love with each other, but we had to keep it a secret. Scared of what my parents or Voldemort would say or even do, we never told anyone. We both knew that we are from 2 different worlds and somehow could never work. But still we had 2 amazing months together in secret. But somehow my parents found out and forced me to break with her, threatening to kill her otherwise." Pansy's eyes widened. How could she not have known this? How could she not have noticed it somehow? She had always been close to Draco. Always been good friends.

"So, I had to break up with her. I completely shattered her, telling her lies, telling her I never loved her. She believed me."He paused, remembering this story was too hard for him. He sighed and continued. "2 months later we got married. You and I both know that our relationship or even marriage isn't perfect. We don't love each other the way we are supposed to love each other. Part of that reason is Hermione."

"You still love her don't you?"Pansy whispered, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye. Draco could only nod. He didn't want to hurt her more. "It's ok Draco. I guess I've always known somehow. Not that it would be Hermione. But I guess I always knew that there was someone else." She kissed his cheek. He smiled at her, thanking her for understanding.

"What now?" She asked him, afraid of his answer. They had a family and she didn't want it to tear apart.

"Nothing. Hermione is married now. I am too. We have a family Pansy, I would never abandon that." He whispered, his thumb ran over her cheek, wiping away the few tears that rolled down her face. "Ok." Pansy just simply said. "Go back in there. I'll give you some privacy." She kissed his cheek and left the kitchen.

Draco took a couple of seconds before going back into the living room. He had never expected for Pansy to understand his story so quickly. He was sure he had some more explaining to do later on, but he appreciated Pansy for understanding the situation right now. He took a deep breath and entered the living room where Hermione was still in her chair, fidgeting with her hands. He simply smiled to her when she noticed that he was back in the room.

Pansy wasn't brought up in a conversation as Hermione quietly understood what had happened in the kitchen.

They were quiet for another minute until Hermione asked "Draco, are _you_ happy? You have this beautiful house, those pictures of your children here… you're wife, they are beautiful." She wasn't sure how he was going to respond. It looked as if he had his life together, happy and content just like she was. His eyes looked warm, they had never looked warm before. Something must be going good for him.

"I uuh.. I actually don't know to be honest." His hand went through his hair as he contemplated what he was going to say. "I guess.. I guess I'm not unhappy. Does that count for something?" He asked her, hoping that the answer would be enough for her.

But she shook her head. "No Draco, that's not enough. Everybody deserves happiness. I need to you be happy."

"I have a good life Hermione, really I do. Don't think that I am this sad, pathetic man."

"I have two great children and although Pansy and I fight sometimes and I don't love her the way I'm suppose to love her… I'm happy she's around. She's a good mom and she is a good wife. I think I am just missing something in my life. Something that's important to me." Their eyes were locked. "You." He simply said.

"Draco.."Hermione started but was stopped by Draco who stood up and walked around the room.

"I know that isn't saying much Hermione. You are happy now with Weasely and I have a life of my own. I just… I miss you. I hate seeing you happy but at the same time I'm happy that you're happy. I don't know what to think anymore, or what to do." He stopped, walked over to her and kneeled in front of her.

"I remember everything too…" He grabbed her hand in his and squeezed it. "I think it's something that we have to keep locked in and never forget. We had something amazing, wonderful, something that will only happen in love stories. And I will never ever forget. And I know you won't either right?" He asked her as he stroked his thump over her palm. New tears spilled from Hermione's eyes and he quickly wiped them away.

"Shhh.. don't cry." He squeezed her hand to comfort her. "Every time that I see you I'm reminded again why I love you so much. And I guess that's a good thing. It keeps me strong and going. But at the same time it makes it all harder and the minute you're gone I tell myself that, _that_ was it.. that I don't want to see you ever again because parting from you… just hurts too much." Hermione had a crooked smile which looked funny through her tears. He laughed softly and kissed her nose.

"I guess it's just hard for me to see you live your own life, when once I thought we would have a family together."She sighed and stood up. Draco followed her back up and stood in front of her.

"I know the feeling." Was the only thing Draco replied back.

Hermione smiled a sad smile and touched his cheek. Draco just stood there, letting her touch him and look at him. Both trying to savor the moment. Both knowing that in just a couple of minutes they had to leave each other yet again until the next time they would meet.

"I have to go Draco." Hermione said after 2 minutes. He just nodded, not knowing what to say to her.

He walked her to the door and helped her put her coat back on. When Hermione turned around to face him one last time he grabbed her waist, folded his arms around her form and just held her for awhile. "I still love you Hermione." He breathed into her ear. She looked him straight into the eyes and soft and soundly kissed his lips for just a couple of seconds. An innocent goodbye kiss. The goodbye kiss that they had never had. It was as perfect as a goodbye kiss could ever be.

"I know Draco. Me too." She whispered back and as Draco closed his eyes to remember her lips on his, Hermione parted from him and left his house.

* * *

><p><em>When will I see you again?<em>

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><p><em><strong>Please let me know what you think and leave a review! Thanks :-) <strong>_


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